Not Sure I'm Handling Life Very Well Right Now...

Now Playing: "Mr. Brightside" - The Killers


Where to start...? Okay, lets see...have been sent home from work twice now due to major breakdowns...apparently when they can't get you to stop crying, supervisors don't want to deal with you. I have to go back to the doctor to be put back on my meds...made it 3 full years without them...apparently I'm not as strong as I thought I was.

Had a REALLY shitty weekend last weekend (not this past weekend, I'm a little behind here)...Friday night we're at work, and Jaime's heart starts racing - it's been known to do this at times when she's stressed - but this time it won't stop. We told the supervisor something was terribly wrong, and I rushed her to the hospital. The good news was she got to go right in - no waiting room for Jaime when her resting heart rate is 140 bpm. They asked who I was, Jaime identified me as her partner, and the nurse threw her forms at me - told me to get the paperwork done while she looked after Jaime, and she hauled her off into the resuscitation room. I filled out the forms, was told I could go to the desk at the cardiac wing in 20 minutes to SEE if I would be allowed to be with Jaime, and of course immediately ran to call...my mother. Stood there on the phone bawling for 10 minutes until a nurse came out of the cardiac wing and asked me to come with her, at which point I basically hung up on my mother (not thinking too clearly at this point). So I went in, Jaime was hooked up to all kinds of monitors, and was waiting for them to do her ECG. So I sat there beside her while they did the ECG and a whole bunch of blood tests, and the two of us waited. Her blood tests fortunately came back fine, and her heart stopped acting up the minute they hooked her up to the monitors, so there was nothing they could do. After about 4 hours of monitoring her, they let her go, saying they thought her family doctor should give her a portable monitor for a few days to see if they could catch anything abnormal. So a night at the hospital and nothing solved.

Also last weekend, one of my mice died...Timorell, the grey one...For some reason, that really hit me hard. I realize it was only a mouse, but still...

I'm failing a couple of my courses, it looks like I'll be moved down to the general program next year, and I'm not even sure I care anymore. I'm so tired of school, and I can't get the motivation together to do anything.

So yeah, that's the situation now...Jaime's moving in probably next week, which I'm really looking forward to...although I'd be happpier if I wasn't going to be in the middle of exams, and if I'd actually fixed up the basement like I said I would so we would have our own space to hang out away from my parents...But what can you do?